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About

"Hi!! I am Chinmoy. Tune in to hear me talk about all and sundry with a touch of humour seriousness and masala."

Wow Blogs !!

Breaking News Thursday, January 8, 2009 |

Its a common phenomenon to see anything of the magnitude of frequency of aishwarya's fart is also characterized as breaking news these days. (welcome to the world of 21 st century news reporting)

Not some two years i remember when we busting our asses on class X my completely screwed up bunch of friends reportedly consisting of Reepan "reeps", Jyotirmoy "monkey- man" launched a new news channel "Raj Tak- bringing You Breaking News at the speed of Indian Police"

n Yesterday my screwed up brain on reportedly being over tortured with daily wtf news on India TV(which as far as i kno is new name of Aaj Tak)...decided to write a piece on the kind of news reported that have become as common as the knowlegde that our national politics is a big piece of stinking shit.

Here's a piece of priceless excerpts...

Over Enthusiastic Journalist (OJ) - "I'm reporting live from a house in Dadar, Mumbai, where an old woman is desperately searching for her dentures in her very own house. This old woman has been living with her husband in this flat all her life. Their loneliness might be due to their cowardly children leaving home because they didn't want the responsibility. There is also a big possibility of the husband being too impotent to have children in the first place. Back to the studio."

Some Anchor on the Studio (SAS) - "OJ... what is the current situation.. what are we looking at here? What is the woman saying, will the dentures be used in the eventuality of them being found?"

OJ - "Well, SAS, I haven't been able to get a confirmation on this but I'm pretty sure the dentures are going to be used for chewing and biting... I repeat, chewing and biting. Mainly food and old newspapers.

SAS - "Well... that is shocking news indeed. For our viewers that have just joined us, we are bringing to you live, the story of a old woman in Dadar in Mumbai who is looking for her dentures in her house. OJ... what is the latest information you can give us?

OJ - "SAS, We have evidence to believe that the woman is still looking for her dentures. I repeat, she is still looking for her dentures. We will now speak to her possibly impotent husband about the progress on finding the dentures.

Sir.. what can you tell us about the dentures? Where all has she looked in the house?

Possible Impotent Man Prakash (PIMP) - "Mmm.. uhh.. my byph.. has been looking for her dentures in our toilet... mm... the bedroom... mm... I'm having trouble talking because of severe dysarthria... mm..."

OJ - "Sir... are those teeth real or have you stolen your wife's dentures as your neighbors are speculating?"

PIMP - "What?! mm... NONSENSE... mm... My teeth are my own... dentures. These are all lies! Lies I tell you!"

OJ - "Sir, one last question. Is it true that you have not been able to wag the shag in the last fifteen years?"

PIMP - "mm.. ?"

OJ - "Oh for goodness sake ARE YOU IMPOTENT?"

PIMP - "Wah... WHAT.. WHAT NONSENSE... ack... my... heart.."

OJ - "Well SAS it seems that more than one organ malfunctions in the old man's body."

SAS - "That's... shocking... really... shocking... We will now get you live feedback on the situation from Mr Mahesh Bhatt. Mr Bhatt... what are your views on the inability of the old woman to find her dentures."

Mahesh Bhatt - "SAS, let me clarify one thing that I have always.. in my entire life.. found toothless old women sexy. In fact, my next film, we will break my grandmother's teeth and make her wear a bikini. You see... a woman's toothlessness is the way to her heart. I used to smash my granny's teeth all the time. I hope the film is a smash hit... like my granny's face.. because you see the idiosyncrasy of the woman's dentures has a profound effect on.."

SAS - "THIS JUST IN... THIS JUST IN... THE OLD WOMAN HAS MANAGED TO LOCATE THE DENTURES.. OJ... what can you tell us about this recent update?"

OJ - "SAS... we have just received a update from the official spokesperson for the old woman's house. Actually, it’s just the Nepalese watchman but Official Spokesperson sounds much more trustworthy. Thapaji... Aap hume kya bata sakte hain?"
Thapa (Thapa) - "ooo.. wooo boodiya kooo daath.. milgayaiiiii.. who mera saamne.. daath ko mooh mein daalla iii.. ooooo.. aaaa.."

OJ - "There you have it SAS.. confirmation that the old woman HAS IN FACT managed to locate her dentures."

SAS - "That's shocking.. truly shocking.. joining us to discuss and deliberate on this issue.. and because they have nothing better to do in life.. Mr Jaddhav Thackeray, Mr Mahesh Bhatt, and for some inexplicable reason, Ms Dia Mirza."


this piece as far as the writer's knowledge is inspired from the bombay attacks reporting(like the news of India Tv are inspired by youtube)








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Converstaion With God Tuesday, January 6, 2009 |

5:30 am
Tee! Tee! Tee!
"Oh! Damn the stupid alarm's buzzing off. I wish God would help me out from this daily monotonicity." I say to myself.
Its cold even under the blanket. The morning rays are filtering through my window as I kick of my blanket with a groan rubbing off the reluctant sleep from my eyes. My rooms still dark.
I close my eyes and say to myself"Oh God why cant these exams get over quickly? Please give me strength. Make me believe again"

As i open my eyes i nearly fall off my bed in shock on seeing God himself smilling and standing before me. I think i m hallucinating , i rub my eyes again and shake my head.
But no he is still there.

I: who are you?
G: Your faith , Your god
I: what are you doing here?
G: trying to make you believe again
I: how come?
G: See my dear boy , early in the morning u are waking up cursing. So m here to know what is troubling you that u are questioning urself.
I: hahaha! what is my prob? well evrything has become a problem in life. I m struggling to balance the equation of life. M tired wid preparing for dese exams . I m tired of the rat race m running. M fighting wid the burden of oders expectations. M confused wheder its useful to wake up so early to chill my bones...I still dont kno whedr my heart has returned to me.
G: wow! dats quite a list. No wonder you look so de-energised. Though i myslef agree its quite chilling out here. Leave dis tell me hws ur new blog going?
I: well its still improving daily. N i m happy how it is shaping up. It has become a way of releasing dis tedious monotonicity. I m still trying to make more people intersted in it though.
G:well do u kno dat blog is solution to your prob. See like your what i call "blogging attitude" you need to free yourslef. stop thinking about all these probs. these are ur stepping stones. See you need to rebuilt your confidence again. Life has one funda 'evrything turns out to be good '.H ave faith in me , faith in urself, work soem 3 more months you will be at the end of the rat race. Leave the rest to me. U just do your job. stop thinking wht is going to happen...etc etc. dese are not under u. Only the present is under ur whip. Live life like ur mantra "free bird". And about your heart - it will remain where you want it to be. Goodbye..n best of luck.
I: hokay god...goodbye thanks for coming...

I suddenly feel somebody is shaking me violently. I suddenly jump n see dat I was dreaming n talking in my sleep. Mom is here...she says" u got to stop dis talking in sleep habit...get up refrsh urself...i m goin to make tea.."
As i brush my teeth i look into de mirror n say " Gods right"









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The smart Kala Kauwa Monday, January 5, 2009 |

Well u know ppl yesterday nite something funny happened...
u see a small kid has come to visit one of our neighbours ...she studies i think in class 3 maybe...

so we had invited them over to our home for dinner....
dis small kid was very shy...well u know sometimes i can make small kids open up if i want...so i fondled her n den asked her tell me a story...

she told me dat story abt de Thirsty black crow...

but it was her own version...
n it went like dis...

It was a hot summer morning. A very thirsty crow was looking for some water to drink. She noticed that there was a beaker with a very low level of water. She tried to drink it but couldn't reach the bottom. She then looked nearby . She saw a straw. She took the straw n drank de water from the beaker with its help n flew away. :)

I couldnt help allowing myself a little smile on hearing this. She truly presented the story reflecting the modern times. wht do u think ??


(P.S.: We have a very interesting story on escape from school. It is the stuff of legends. We have exclusive video footage too. So keep posted to know this uber cool story.)

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Roadies ki khabar Sunday, January 4, 2009 |

well ppl evry is nwdays talkin abt Roadies Hell Down under...its de craze down here...evry saturday after our maths class evry1 rushes home real fast to catch de latest ...

hum bhi kya kam hain...aaz hum likhna chahte hain abt de only reality show dat i watch...all dat Indian Idol, sa re ga ma pa(sa le pa de ga)....all sucks...

just before i start..a brief history..
1 season: winner - Ranvijay(actually no clear cut winners..he was one of de two fianlists)

2 season: winner- Ayushman

3 season: winner- Parul (i dont kno girl or boy)

4 season: winner- Anthony

5 season: winner- Ashutosh

HOKAY lets leave dis all...

in my opinion last years roadies were really not up to de mark.. i felt bored at tyms..

but dis years roadies looks entrallin... by de traillers i saw yesterday...it looks like dere will some good fightin and tasks also look interestin....

whtever de finalists shortlisted are (to refresh your short memory)


NAME - ANKUR
Age: 20
Sex: Male
City: Panchkula

This Roadie wants to win it all but will his trait of playing it safe in EVERYTHING hamper his chances?

Strengths: Thinks things through

Weaknesses: Afraid to take chances

mY oPInioN: well he looks like he will be blown away anyday... n de man whose hands will make him confused.. (remember how he used his hands in talkin)


Bold



NAME - TAMANNA
Age: 19
Sex: Female
City: Chandigarh

This juggernaut wants to squash anything & everything that comes in her way to success!

Strengths: A free bird, she will not get bogged down by negativity

Weaknesses: Self-obsessed

mY oPInioN : mY FAVORITE....girl..she has got de attitude...she has dis accent which is wht i call somewht hatke (mind m not sayin cool)



NAME - NATASHA SINHA
Age: 21
Sex: Female
City: Panchakula

All out to prove herself a good Roadie, this girl won't let anything get in her way!

Strengths: Extremely confident

Weaknesses: Acts before she thinks!

mY oPinioN: she looks determinded ....she shud do tasks well..shud be interstin to watch...


AME - SONIA CHOUHAN
Age: 18
Sex: Female
City: Shimla

Now this girl has a strong opinion on everything from - lying to get a job to one night stands! Wonder how the other Roadies will take this?

Strengths: Not afraid to speak her mind

Weaknesses: Will not budge once her mind is made up!

mY Opinion: she is too frail..if she only plays mind games..n doesnt do task she shud be shot

NAME - NAUMAN SAIT
Age: 21
Sex: Male
City: Bengaluru

Now this is one guy who loves living life in the fast lane! Ever ready to face his fears, he practically lives for adventures!

Strengths: Confidence & determination to succeed at any cost

Weaknesses: An inflated ego!

My Opinion: looks cool...n i have a feeling he will do de task wid enthu...i expect somethin frm him


NAME - GURMEET KAUR JOHAL
Age: 19
Sex: Female
City: Chandigarh

A totally bindass babe, she has even thrashed a guy right in the middle of the road!

Strengths: Completely straightforward, no mind games played by her

Weaknesses: Too trusting & willing to do anything for her friends
My opinioN: whhen she gave her interview she talked a lot (dis evn doesnt come close to describin it)
she is antique piece..phoonjabi kuddi...josh dikha..

NAME - TIMUNG LONGKIRI
Age: 25
Sex: Male
City: Assam

With his never-say-die attitude, Kiri is here to stay! With a rather active social conscience, lets see how he much good he can do for himself instead of others!

Strengths: Very focussed on the job at hand

Weaknesses: Needs to increase his presence of mind
my opinion: well if i remember de first frm northeast ...i hope he does somethin ..n dey dont vote him out too fast....he is a self confessed stupid...n i think dat is gutsy...hehe


Age: 19
Sex: Female
City: Kolkata

Truly one of a kind, this girl isn't afraid to speak her mind! But will this trait rub the other Roadies the wrong way?

Strengths: Extremely confident, nothing scares her.
My opinion: looks like anoder shambhavi....dont bore us like her please...
NAME - PAULAMI DE
Age: 28
Sex: Female
City: Kolkata

Definitely one of the most 'interesting' people on Roadies, there is nothing she would like to change about herself.

Strengths: Very straightforward & broad-minded

Weaknesses: Over-the-top behaviour
my opinion: she is weirdo...who makes me laugh wid her actions...but she just isnt roadie material...

NAME - BHANU PRATAP SINGH RANA
Age: 18
Sex: Male
City: Ahmedabad

Here’s an emotional Rajput if there ever was one! But also being the practical Roadie that he is, he chooses success over friendship. Because as he says – When one is successful, people automatically come closer.

Strengths: He is willing to do ANYTHING on Roadies.

Weaknesses: He expects too much from other people, which as we all know can really backfire on a Roadie!
my opinion: well srk says he is too hairy!! :)... dont kno if dat will prevent him frm doin good tasks...

NAME - ROOP BHINDER
Age: 22
Sex: Female
City: Patiala

The finalist in Roadies Battleground, she has already done her share of crazy tasks like putting cow dung on her face & getting people to kiss her to prove herself a Roadie. But will that be enough?

Strengths: Having participated in Roadies Battleground, she understands the pressure
my opinion: she looks like a bahu out of a sas bahu serial... whtever rope she may use to hang..de oders...m not too much into her

NAME - PRADEEP SINGH
Age: 20
Sex: Male
City: Panchkula

A seasoned gambler, his strategy is to perform well in the tasks so no one can vote him out.

Strengths: Passionate & aggressive nature

Weaknesses: Trusts people very easily
my opinion: de macho man...he looks set do tasks well ..banda bore nehi lagta...

NAME - NEHA KAPOOR
Age: 20
Sex: NEHA KAPOOR
City: Mumbai

This girl does not care what the world thinks but is hell bent on following her own way & making her own rules.

Strengths: A positive attitude no matter how tough the situation

Weaknesses: Can underestimate her opponents
My opinion: i DROOL over her....hot airhostes....man...whtever looks interesting too..not dat bitchy boring anmol type...


Age: 19
Sex: Male
City: New Delhi

Though generally a well-mannered young fellow, Sandeep can really pack in quite a punch if the need arises!

Strengths: Is not afraid to take the road less traveled

Weaknesses: Extremely short tempered & emotional
my opinion: well raghu says his smile is like dat of a girl...dont act weaky kneed dats all...


NAME - Bobby Chopra
Age: 20
Sex: Female
City: New Delhi

Born with a craze to become a Roadie, she is out to 'terrorize' all the other Roadies.

Strengths: Completely grounded personality

Weaknesses: Unable to judge a person's character easily

my opinion: in my opinion fat...i m not into her...she looks like de one who will only play mind games..





NAME - DEVARSHI PATEL
Age: 21
Sex: Male
City: Ahmedabad

As cool as a cucumber, nothing can shake his confidence. A complete social animal, one of the reasons he wants to be on Roadies is to ‘spend quality time with quality people’

Strengths: His PMA (Positive Mental Attitude)

Weaknesses: His emotional nature can get him into trouble.
mY opinioN: HE made me laugh wid his rock on lyrics...i will wacth roadies to watch his antics..

NAME - SAMRAT KAUSHAL
Age: 23
Sex: Male
City: Mumbai

He may be all brawn but that don't mean he's got no brains! Determined and passionate, he does not give up easily.

Strengths: He keeps a cool head in tough situations.

Weaknesses: Extremely sensitive, he doesn’t mix easily with others. But don’t we all know, groupism is everything on Roadies.
My opinioN: OIkwoikuauxo!!! soemthin of dis rajeev said...simply put rocks...

NAME - VICKY ARORA
Age: 18
Sex: Male
City: Mumbai

This guy welcomes challenges with open arms, even the downright stupid ones. And girls beware! In matters of the heart, he doesn’t forgive & forget!

Strengths: He ain’t scared of anything!

Weaknesses: Rushes headlong into things without thinking about the consequences.
my opinion: well he looks to innocent frankly...be a good performer yaar!!!

(photos are courtsey mtv )

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